


Fractured Mind

by Senigata



Series: Hopeful Horizons [9]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Sickness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-01-25 19:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21361600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Senigata/pseuds/Senigata
Summary: [Sequel to Lost Heart]Cloud was gone, Meteor has been summoned and the Weapons were running rampant. To Tifa, it felt like everything was lost, and she had no idea what she should do now. If only Cloud was with them...
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Series: Hopeful Horizons [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1406635
Comments: 7
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and welcome to the next part of this little series. I'm pretty sure you can already guess what we're gonna tackle in this one just from the title alone, so let's dive right in, shall we?

**Fractured Mind**

Tifa felt lost. Her worst nightmares had come to pass.

Cloud was gone, fallen into the Lifestream as the Northern Crater collapsed underneath their feet. He had handed Sephiroth the Black Materia, after the man had revealed to him that he was nothing more than a puppet, a construct of Jenova cells created by Hojo for the sole reason to take part in the so-called Reunion.

He subjected him to the truth, that he had never truly been in Nibelheim, taunting him that he wasn't even the real Cloud, and there had been nothing she could do because, in the end, she too doubted him. And that had been what drove him over the edge.

She hated herself for that.

"_I never lived up to being 'Cloud'..."_ he had said to her, looking absolutely broken and at peace with himself at the same time. "_Tifa...Maybe one day, you'll meet the real Cloud."_

She had called his name, trying to reach out to him even as Barret had dragged her away while everything collapsed around them. Afterwards, she had fallen unconscious for a whole week, mental and physical exhaustion having taken its toll on her body.

_A week_, she thought, and didn't miss the irony that it had been the same amount of time she had spent in a coma after she had fallen down Mt. Nibel so many years ago now.

After she had awoken she had seen Meteor with her own eyes, a large fireball looming in the sky. On top of that, the Weapons were released, and just as she had feared they had declared humanity as the planet's enemy.

Things happened fast then. Their slated execution, the attack by one of the Weapons, and their escape from Junon. Hard to believe that it had only been yesterday.

After that, with nowhere else to go, they headed to Cosmo Canyon to regroup, since it was one of the few places where they could be sure that Shinra wouldn't look for them, and because Red said he wanted to run something by Bugenhagen; about a story he had once heard from Seto, but couldn't fully remember.

Once they had arrived earlier today, Tifa had sat down at the large bonfire in the center of Cosmo Canyon, telling everyone to go about their business; apparently leadership had fallen to her now that Cloud was gone.

She was staring into the fire when she noticed someone approaching. It was Bugenhagen. As usual, the older man was seated on a flying crystal ball that helped him move around now that his old legs weren't in the best of shape anymore.

It was a curious sight, but she had seen far more stranger things on their journey, so it felt absolutely mundane by now.

"Hello," he greeted her with a friendly tone.

"Hello, Bugenhagen," she replied.

"You've been sitting here all day. Your friends are getting worried, you know?"

"I'm fine." No she wasn't.

"Well in that case, you won't mind joining an old man for a cup of tea, will you?"

Her eyes moved away from the fire and towards the old man, his eyes covered in shades and completely unreadable to her.

"I suppose not," she said with a sigh. Truth be told, she just wanted to be left alone, but she had to admit she was quite thirsty, and maybe a cup of tea would help her a bit.

Rising to her feet, she started to follow Bugenhagen all the way to his observatory. On their way they passed by Barret, who looked at her with concerned eyes, but Tifa ignored him.

"_We don't need Cloud. We managed fine without him in the beginning!"_ she heard the words he had said to her yesterday echo inside her mind. "_When did you become so weak!?"_

_When indeed?_ She found herself wondering.

Once they had arrived, Tifa sat down at the wooden table, while Bugenhagen started to heat the water.

"Do you have any preference?"

"Hmm, do you have Wutaian Ryokucha?" she asked.

"Hohoho, indeed I do," he said and opened his cup board. "My, my, that is some exquisite taste in tea you have."

Despite her mood she couldn't help but chuckle. "I used to live with a man from Wutai for a few years, and he insisted that there'd only be tea from his homeland in his household. So I guess I got hooked on it over time."

"Well, be that as it may, good taste," he laughed again.

After the tea was done, he handed Tifa her cup and 'sat' down next to her. She took a sip and felt herself relax a little bit at the familiar taste.

"Nanaki..." Bugenhagen said after having taken a sip from his own tea. "He told me about happened in the north. I'm sorry for the loss of Aerith and for what happened to Cloud."

"...Thank you," Tifa replied and trailed the pattern of the wooden table with the fingers of her left hand.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I—" she sighed. "I have no idea. We have no leads, Meteor was summoned and the Weapons are running rampant. Like I said to the others, if Cloud was here he'd have an idea what we should do, but..."

"Hmm, I see." Bugenhagen hovered away from her, moving around like he was pacing up and down, as he drank his tea. "Nanaki asked me something earlier. About what Seto had once told him. When everything collapsed, the ground cracked open, did it not?"

"Yes."

"Hmm. And the planet was funneling energy to heal a wound it received a long time ago?"

Tifa nodded.

"It's... just a theory, but if the Lifestream gathered there, then that could mean Cloud might have fallen into it." He placed his cup down on the table and took off his shades to wipe them with a handkerchief. "I will tell you what I told Nanaki. The Lifestream, as you know, flows underneath the earth, and sometimes it gushes through cracks in it. Down to the south, the Lifestream is closer to the surface than any other place, and in that area is an island chain.

"It's a small hope, but it's hope nonetheless." He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "On the largest island there is a town called Mideel, maybe you'll find some answers there."

Tifa looked at him with wide eyes, the tea in her hand entirely forgotten. She didn't know what to say. With only a few words, the man had given her the slightest sliver of hope that she might see Cloud again.

He smiled kindly. "Now go on, drink up. You've got quite the journey ahead of you."

"Y-yes!" she took a large sip. "Thank you!"

After she had finished her tea, and had once more thanked him profusely, she headed down to look for the others. She found Red first.

"I heard Grandpa spoke with you. I'm assuming he told you what he told me?"

"Yes, he did.

"Tifa..."

"I know it's a slim chance, but I have to check!"

"I see. In that case, I'll help you. No matter what the truth is, Cloud helped me make peace with the father I had thought to be a coward. For that alone I owe him," he said and they headed into the local tavern where the rest of the group was seated.

"Hey, sis," Cid greeted her. "You're looking more lively. Did something happen?"

"Get the Highwind ready," she said to him. "We're heading south."

Cid shared a look with Vincent, who was sitting next to him, then rose to his feet. He looked her straight in the eye. "Got a clue on the kid, did ya?"

She met his gaze head on. "Yes."

"Good enough. Come on Vince, up with that bony ass of yours!" he all but shouted as he dragged the Ex-Turk to his feet and towards the door. "The Highwind'll be ready to take off when you get there."

Cait Sith and Yuffie were the next to leave, the ninja giving her shoulder a little clap as she passed her by.

"No news from Shinra, so it's the best time to go look for him," the robotic cat said. "...I'm worried about him too, Tifa. I hope we'll find him."

Barret, who had been sitting the furthest away, waited until they had left before he slowly rose to his feet and walked over to her. "Think that's a good idea?" he asked her.

"Barret..."

"What if we don't find him, or let's say we do find him, what then?" he stepped closer to her.

"Barret—" Red said, but the man interrupted him.

"Can we be so sure that it's 'Cloud' we'll find? Or are we just chasin' Sephiroth's shadow?"

Tifa knew that, on face value, Barret was right. And that was what scared her the most. But she couldn't believe that it was all fake. Some of the things he said to her, it felt just too real to be an illusion, and if there was just the smallest of chances that she was right, then she had to take it.

So instead of backing down to the much larger man, she stood up on her toes and glared at him as a quiet anger that had been building up inside her, was finally bubbling to the surface. "Why don't you stay here, then?"

And with those words she spun on her heels and walked out. Behind her Nanaki gave Barret a look, before following after her.

By the time she had arrived at the Highwind, Cid had made good on his word and the airship was indeed ready for take off.

"Alright, sis, ready when you are!" Cid called out to her, standing next to the pilot trainee that the man had taken under his wing.

"Have you ever heard of a town called Mideel?"

"Mideel?" he scratched the scruff on his chin. "Oh yeah! Hot spring town down south. Alright buddy, get a move on!"

"Y-yessir!" the pilot stammered and the Highwind took off. Tifa moved to the large window at the front and watched as the airship did a turn over Cosmo Canyon, before heading into the direction of the southern islands. She turned around to see everyone manning their stations. Her eyes fell onto Barret for a second, standing there with his arms crossed in front of his chest, lips drawn into a thin line.

They both had said their piece.

* * *

With the Highwind as their method of transportation, what otherwise would have taken a week, they managed in hours, and soon enough their destination came into view. In the distance Tifa could see the town of Mideel near the southern coastline, surrounded by a vast wood of tropical trees.

"Damn!" she heard Cid curse. "There's no way we'll be able to land nearby. Guess it's gonna be a track through those woods."

"Hmm, there's a road," Vincent said next to her and pointed up ahead. "Land us there. That way we can just follow it to town."

"You heard the man," Cid said to the young pilot, who made a nervous sound as he proceeded to get the ship to the ground. After the airship came to a halt, Cid slapped the young man on the shoulder. "Good work, you aren't totally useless after all!"

He turned towards her. "So who do you want to take with ya, sis?"

She closed her eyes, considering for a moment, before nodding to herself. "Let's go, Red. We'll take Yuffie with us, I'm sure she'll appreciate some solid ground right now."

Just as she was about to pass Barret, the large man grabbed hold of her arm. "I'm comin' with ya."

"Why? So that you can complain the entire time that you don't want Cloud back?" she shot back and pulled her arm out of his grip. He looked at her like she had just slapped him.

Without another word, she walked out, her four legged friend following her. Behind her she could hear Cid muttering. "Ran yer mouth, did ya, big guy?"

Like she had predicted, Yuffie was more than delighted to join her if it meant getting away from the airship for a bit.

_Poor girl,_ Tifa thought. _As if the sea sickness hadn't been bad enough_.

As soon as their little group had stepped outside they were hit by the heat and humidity. They had just made it down to the grassy ground and Tifa could already feel herself starting to sweat. The tangy smell of Mako pervaded the air, not as bad as in the Midgar Slums or even Nibelbeim when the reactor had malfunctioned, but it was enough to make Red crunch up his nose and shake his head.

They hadn't seen any reactors nearby, so the smell of Mako only meant one thing: this area really was close to the Lifestream.

The three of them followed the route and Tifa couldn't help staring at the trees. She had never seen any like them before.

"You know," Red murmured next to her. "He's following us."

Barret.

"He can do whatever he likes," she said simply, since apparently he wouldn't listen to her anyway.

By taking the road it didn't take long for them to arrive at the hot spring town.

"It's already hot as it is, why would someone wanna sit in a hot spring in this place?" Yuffie wondered out loud as she looked around. The townsfolk gave them curious glances, but nothing else. "And where are we supposed to start looking for Cloud, anyway?"

"Let's ask around..." Red said, and they slowly walked down the main road that led through town.

As she walked, something caught her eye. A lone dog sitting all by itself, head hanging low and looking absolutely lost. Tifa stopped and knelt down in front of it, making it look at her with its sad, brown eyes.

"You got lost, didn't you?" she asked and held out her hand. The dog sniffed it for a moment and let out a little whine, but didn't protest when Tifa started to gently stroke its dark, almost wolf like fur. "Separated from someone you love...yeah, I know that feeling."

Tifa felt a presence behind her and glanced over her shoulder to see Barret standing there, his gaze turned downward. Guilt squeezed her heart for how she had acted earlier. She opened her mouth to say something, when she noticed two men having a conversation just up ahead.

"Guess it's been, what, about a week since he washed up?" one of them said and shook his bald head. "Poor kid, wonder what happened?"

"Yeah. It's weird though," the other, much older man said. "He was holding onto that really huge sword...and those strange eyes..."

_What!? _A huge sword and strange eyes?

Tifa jumped to her feet and ran towards the two men. "Excuse me!"

"Hmm?" the men turned towards her.

"That person you were talking about. Is his hair blond and spiky, kinda looking like a Chocobo's tail?"

"That's a description you don't hear every day, but yes," the bald man said. "One of the villagers found him down at the coast."

"He must've drifted in the sea for quite some time," the old man said.

"Where is he? Is he safe!?" she asked and stepped closer.

"Wow, easy there," the bald one said, and he pointed towards a building on a little hill further down the road. "He's at the clinic."

"Cloud!" Her heart did a leap of joy. A grin split her face and she turned towards Barret, who had listened in on the conversation as well, and stared at her in surprise. "He's alive!"

"Well, that was easy," Yuffie said to Red as they walked over to see what the commotion was about.

But she was already not paying any attention anymore and instead ran past the two men towards the clinic.

"Tifa!" Barret called and ran after her, followed by the other two.

"Cloud!" Tifa shouted as she burst into the clinic. In front of her, a man in a doctor's coat turned around, looking startled.

"What in the— The way you're shouting it sounds like Meteor was falling or something," he chastised her, a frown forming on his face as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I-I'm sorry..." Tifa apologized and looked around the room. There was an examination bed and a table with a variety of medical equipment that reminded her of Dr. Hiragi's clinic in Midgar. "But I heard a friend of mine was here..."

"A friend?" he asked, arching an eyebrow, then dropped his arms to his side when he realized who she meant. "Oh, that young man?"

Tifa gave him a nod.

"Don't worry. He's next door, but his condi—" Not letting the doctor continue, Tifa all but ran into the next room, a patient room with three beds.

"Cloud!?" she exclaimed and looked wildly around the room until she spotted a nurse standing in front of a patient. The nurse turned around in confusion, before her face fell and she stepped aside to reveal none other than Cloud sitting in a wheelchair, his head hanging low.

Was he so hurt that he couldn't walk?

...It didn't matter. Cloud was alive, that was what mattered to her right now.

"Cloud..." she breathed out, a relieved smile on her lips, and took a step towards him, a hand moving to cover one of his. "I'm so glad you're safe."

Her smile dropped when he didn't respond. "Cloud?"

All off a sudden his head shot up, his eyes wide and his pupils dilated, staring blankly at her—no, through her, like she wasn't there. He released a moan, and tilted his head backwards to stare at the ceiling.

Behind her, the others rushed into the clinic and moved to look at what was going on.

"What happened to him?" Tifa asked with a shaking voice, head turning to look at the doctor.

"Mako poisoning. And a quite advanced case, too. It appears this young man was exposed to high levels of Mako radiation for an extended period of time." The doctor released a sigh. "He probably has no idea who or where he is now. His mind is some place far away, all alone. Poor fellow…"

"How horrible," she heard Red say.

_Oh, no. _Tifa didn't know what to say. Her gaze wandered over to the others, and landed on Barret, who towered over them all as he looked at Cloud. For a moment she thought she could see pain reflected in his eyes. She felt her eyes starting to burn and she dropped to her knees as her legs grew too weak to support her. _Cloud…_

The doctor cleared his throat and turned towards the others. "I think we should give them a moment. Would you mind if we went outside?"

One by one they left the clinic until it was only Cloud and her.

"Please, talk to me," she begged him. "Tell me that you see me; that you can hear me. Please!"

His only answer was a gurgling sound, his head lolling to the side. She released a shaky breath as the first hot tears started to run down her cheeks and she buried her face in his lap.

"I came this far because I believed in the memories we share together..." she managed to say before she finally broke down. All the pain and anguish she suffered over the last few weeks finally forced itself to the surface.

She wept. For the friends she lost, for Aerith, and for Cloud and herself. She truly was cursed, wasn't she?

Cursed to have everything dear to her ripped away.

"Uhhh," she heard him moan.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, shaking her head. "If only I could have done something."

She lifted her head and moved a hand up to cup his cheek. He was warm, and very real, and not an illusion. Slowly rising to her feet, Tifa gently pressed her forehead against his and looked him in the eye. There was absolutely no sign of awareness in them, as he drifted somewhere in the recesses of his own mind. But he was alive. She hadn't completely lost him yet, so there was still some measure of hope left.

"I won't let you go through this alone," Tifa whispered to him, and as if Cloud had actually understood her, a small "aah" escaped his lips.

She made up her mind. Letting go of his face, she walked over to the door, giving Cloud one final look, before heading outside to join the others.

"Are you alright, Tifa?" Red asked as soon as she had stepped through the door.

"Yes. I'm sorry if I had you all worried," she said and looked at each of them. "And I've got something to tell you all."

After she had said those words, she headed back inside, and stood next to Cloud. Once the others had joined her, she took a deep breath and said: "I've decided to stay here, with Cloud. I'm sorry, but I just want to be by his side."

Surprisingly, it was Barret who spoke up first, having been silent this entire time. "Yeah, that's probably for the best. For Cloud, and for you."

Next was Yuffie, who actually ran up to her and gave her a big hug. "Always stay true to yourself," she said, and Tifa couldn't help but smile as she returned the hug.

"Thanks, guys. And I'm sorry, especially at a time like this."

Red nodded. "Take care of Cloud for us."

As everyone was turning to leave, Barret stayed behind a little longer.

"Tifa...is he really your childhood friend?" he asked. They locked eyes with one another, and she still could see the doubt in the other man's eyes, but the anger she had felt earlier was gone by now, crushed to dust by Cloud's cruel fate, but she was still not willing to give up on their memories together.

"Yes, I'm sure of it," she said resolutely.

Barret exhaled through his nose, and nodded, giving her a small smile; his way of offering her an olive branch. "OK. Sorry for askin'."

"Take care," she called after him as he left.

"You too," he called back, and then he was gone.

She remained where she was for a moment, deeply inhaling and exhaling to steel herself for the coming days, weeks, perhaps months if Meteor wasn't going to kill them all before that.

Walking out of the patient's room, she found the doctor and nurse in quiet conversation. Upon her arrival in the room, the man turned towards her.

"So you'll be staying here?" he asked her.

"Yes," she said and bowed before him like Dr. Hiragi had once taught her. "I'm sorry to intrude."

"That's quite alright. You aren't the first person to stay with a patient. We can sadly only offer you one of the beds here, but I'm sure you wouldn't want to leave his side, anyway."

She nodded. "Tell me, how bad is it? Really."

He looked towards the room where Cloud was, then back to her. "Worst case I've ever seen. Frankly, that he's even alive is a miracle. But I believe there is hope."

"Really?"

"Mhm." He nodded. "Most of the time he doesn't speak, but sometimes there's moments when he mutters something about numbers, does that ring any bells?"

"_Professor, please give me a number..."_ she recalled his words in the Northern Crater. "Yes, it does," she muttered.

"That means there's some part of his mind that is reaching out. You see, while Mako poisoning has physical symptoms, it is much more a sickness of the mind," he explained to her and walked over to the doorway. "Are you familiar with how Materia comes to be?"

"Materia is produced when you condense Mako energy, and inside the Materia is the knowledge of the Ancients," she recited what Sephiroth had once told Zack and her at the Mako fountain in Mt. Nibel.

"Correct. If a body is exposed to too much Mako radiation, then that knowledge will seep into your brain and overload your mind. That's what Mako poisoning truly is; the shattering of the ego as it is flooded with thoughts and feelings not their own."

"So it's like you said, he's miles away, experiencing ancient knowledge?" Tifa looked at the doctor, who gave her a nod.

"But, like I said as well, there's some part reaching out, so maybe it's a good thing you're here. Your presence might be the key."

"What can I do though?" she asked.

"Talk to him, be there for him. It's honestly the only thing we can do. And never lose hope."

_Hope,_ she thought. That was honestly all she had left at this point.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are ya all mentally prepared for the next chapter? No?
> 
> Well here is it anyway.

**Chapter 2**

Over the next few days, Tifa spent almost all her time at Cloud's side, talking to him and taking care of his needs. He could barely eat, so feeding him was quite a challenge, but his body was aware enough to swallow on its own, so they thankfully didn't need to rely on a feeding tube. She also assisted the nurse wherever she could, be it washing him or applying the bed pan, something that had surprised the woman.

"You're strangely experienced, I've got to say," she said one day, as Tifa helped Cloud back into his wheelchair after they cleaned him.

"I used to live with a doctor for a couple of years. And I, uh, had to be on the receiving end of this as well, so I know how it feels like," she admitted, slightly embarrassed. "I guess that taught me a lot."

Tifa brushed a hand over his freshly shaven cheek. He never liked going without a shave for long periods of time.

"You care a great deal for him, don't you?" the nurse asked, giving her a knowing look. On any regular day Tifa might have been embarrassed about being so easy to read, but she didn't have the strength to deny it right now.

"I lost a lot over the years. Family, my home. In a way, he's all I've got left," she explained.

"Love is a very powerful thing. It can overcome any challenge no matter how difficult," the other woman said. "There's a reason couples vow to love in sickness and in health on their wedding day. Sometimes that's all that's needed. I've seen it with my own eyes."

The nurse chuckled. "And if you ask me, you're already doing a pretty good job. Sure you two aren't secretly married?"

This time Tifa couldn't keep the blush away. "We're not!"

A giggle escaped the woman. "I'm just teasing. In times like these it's important to not lose heart."

Tifa sighed. "I know."

"It's a nice day. Why don't you take him out on a little walk?" the nurse offered with a friendly smile.

She looked out of the window and, indeed, it was a nice day. Yesterday it had rained the entire time, so going out with Cloud had been out of the question.

"I think that's a good idea," Tifa said with a small smile of her own. She walked behind the wheelchair and placed her hands on both handles. "Do you agree, Cloud?"

"Uhhh."

She pushed his wheelchair forward and carefully navigated it around the corners until they were outside. As Cloud and her made their way down the road, the familiar sight of the dog she had met days earlier greeted her. It seemed to have taken a liking to her, always finding her and accompanying the two of them when they were out on their walk.

It was nice, having another companion around in a town she wasn't familiar with, even if it was just a dog.

After a while of moving around town, they arrived at a bench that Tifa had found the day before yesterday. It was on a hill similar to where the clinic was located and had a nice view over the town. The rain from the day before had cooled down the temperatures considerably and the tangy quality of the air wasn't as bad as before, so Tifa found herself leaning back and closing her eyes, absentmindedly stroking the head of her four legged companion as she let herself relax just a little bit.

She was tired.

Not just physically, but emotionally, too. Taking care of Cloud was draining in so many ways, but she couldn't just stand by and watch. She loved him too much for that.

A low moan from besides her made her open her eyes and she saw Cloud moving his head, as if to watch the horizon.

"Pyreflies…Farplane...Vegna...gun," he muttered. Tifa frowned, wondering what he was experiencing right now. Ever since she had started taking care of him, she had heard him talk multiple times, something that the doctor had taken note of and seemed to attribute to her. But what he said wasn't making any sense. Once he had talked about something called _Iifa_ holding the world's crystal in its grasp, another time he talked about a world where wild roses would bloom. One time she even thought she had heard him mutter her name, but she must have imagined it.

Oh how she wished he would talk to her directly, but she felt that was still a long way off. The dog let out a little whine and moved over to Cloud, sitting down next to him; offering the sick man silent comfort.

Despite the fatigue she felt, she forced herself back to her feet and went to embrace Cloud from behind, burying her face into his freshly washed hair.

"I'm here Cloud, and I'm not going away," she said to him. "But, where are you?"

They remained there on that little hill for another hour, with Tifa talking to him, reassuring him that he would be getting better, even if she was trying to reassure herself just as much.

By the time they arrived back in the clinic she was surprised that Cid, as well as Barret and Red, had come by to check on them. They told her that they had just managed to steal a Huge Materia right from under Shinra's noses. Apparently Shinra wanted to use them for something, and were targeting the Mako Reactors of Mt. Corel and Fort Condor.

She glanced over at Barret, who was standing in the corner and looking at Cloud. Something about the man had changed. His shoulders looked less tense, and she assumed whatever happened at Corel must have given him a small measure of peace.

Tifa couldn't help the little smile when she heard Barret mutter: "Come on, get it together, Spike!"

"So are you off to Fort Condor next?"

"Yeah," Cid said, for once not having a cigarette in his mouth in respect of the clinic's rules. "According to Cait's intel Shinra's going to attack tomorrow, but this time they aren't planning on taking over the place. They're planning to destroy the whole damn thing to get to the Materia. I've sent Vincent, Yuffie and him ahead to prepare the place."

She remembered Fort Condor. They had stopped by there on their way to Junon and, much to her joy, Cloud had taken the time to listen to the people's plight, then agreed to help them out, even if it had cost them precious time.

They had trained the militia and mercenaries for a few days and had managed to drive the Shinra army away for some time. She didn't know why, but on that day Cloud had fought especially fierce, like he had another personal vendetta that he needed to fulfill.

Just one more piece of the puzzle that Cloud had been at the time.

"Be careful. If they are being serious this time there's no way to tell what they are going to come up with," Tifa said.

"Don't worry, sis." Cid shot her a grin. "We'll be fine. You just focus on Cloud."

His eyes took on a note of worry. "And maybe yourself. You getting enough rest?"

"I get by." Tifa nodded. Seeing that look in his eyes, she could finally understand what Shera saw in the guy. He had a foul temper and mouth, but deep inside he was a decent guy, even if he had problems showing it.

"I see..." he frowned. "Anyway, we better get going. We'll come back tomorrow once we're done. Promise."

"Alright," she said, smiling a little. "See you tomorrow, then."

After they left it was starting to get late, so the nurse and her laid Cloud down on one of the beds. Soon after the nurse left the two of them alone.

Truth be told, she didn't get as much rest as she should be getting. Despite his condition, Cloud would eventually fall to sleep, his body giving into tiredness, but Tifa couldn't stop worrying over him, so she spent most of the night watching him until she would fall asleep by his bedside.

_What are you dreaming about?_ She wondered, and gently stroked his cheek as his eyes closed. Tifa rested her forehead against his for a moment, before placing a kiss on it.

"Sleep well," she murmured, the sat down on the nearby chair and gently took his hand into her own, hoping that maybe tomorrow when he woke up he would be back to being normal.

Tifa watched him as he slept. The past few days he would murmur something in his sleep, but tonight he was almost dangerously still and she had to strain her ears to hear his breathing.

A spike of fear shot through her. What if his body was starting to give out?

Resting her head on his chest, she listened to his heartbeat and breathing, making sure that he was still with her, if only in body and not mind.

_I'm going to lose you, aren't I?_ She asked him in her mind, too afraid to actually say the words, in fear they could become sudden reality. _Just like I lost everyone else…_

Burying her face in his chest, after spending the entire day holding back, a sob escaped her. She couldn't go on anymore.

As she softly cried into his chest, Tifa suddenly felt something touch her head and she turned to see Cloud, wide awake, staring at her in the dark with his glowing, unnerving gaze.

"Cloud…"

It was clumsy, but somehow his hand brushed against her cheek and wiped away a tear, before going still, remaining where it was. She searched his eyes for any sign of awareness, but he simply stared.

Gently taking hold of his hand, Tifa planted a kiss on his palm as she looked at him, hoping that no matter where he was, that he could feel the sensation.

"I know you're the real Cloud…" she said, stroking his hand as his eyelids slowly slid shut again. "Even if you aren't, I don't care. Just come back to me, please…"

* * *

Tifa awoke the next morning to the rumbling of an earthquake. With a start she sat up and held onto Cloud to keep him from falling out of the bed as everything around them shook. After a few moments of shaking, everything became calm once more.

She waited for a bit longer before letting go of Cloud, who was thankfully still very much asleep. A look at the clock on the wall told her that it was early in the morning. Steps coming from the other room told her that the doctor and nurse were also awake by now, and not long after, the other woman entered the room to check up on her.

"Everything alright?" she asked with concern in her voice.

"Yes," Tifa replied. "We're alright. Just kinda taken by surprise."

"I'm sorry. We probably should have told you that earthquakes aren't really a rarity here. The Lifestream is very close to the surface, after all." She shrugged. "This was one of the lighter ones."

"Will we be OK?" Tifa asked with a frown.

"It should be fine," the nurse reassured her, but Tifa wasn't fully convinced. But it wasn't exactly like she had a choice and could just take Cloud and run off somewhere else. He needed medical attention in his current condition. The only other doctor she knew lived in Midgar, and going to him wasn't an option. Too dangerous with Shinra after them.

She wished Dr. Hiragi was here right now. Maybe he might have known another way how she could help Cloud. If only a little bit.

A gurgling sound from the bed told her that Cloud was waking up. She helped him into a sitting position and, together with the nurse, started his morning routine. Feeding him alone took up such a long time, that by the time they were done with it all, an hour had gone by.

Tifa had to force herself to eat. She hardly had any appetite these days, but she knew she had to, or else the doctor and nurse would get worried. If they weren't already from the way they seemed to be whispering as she brushed Cloud's hair.

As the hours passed, Tifa found herself listening to all sorts of things that Cloud was mumbling to himself. Today was the day he was speaking the most out of all days she had been here, but it still didn't make any sense at all to her.

"Fithos...Lusec...Wecos...Vinosec...Time compression..."

She shook her head.

Later that day, Cid returned, just like he had promised, with a huge grin on his face that told her they had succeeded in pushing the Shinra army back.

"You'll have to be patient. These things take time. Just like fine wine, time is of the essence," she heard the doctor say to one of the others as Cid walked into the room to join her. Tifa tried to put up a brave face, but honestly, she couldn't hide away her tiredness anymore.

"You alright?" he asked her.

"I'm such an idiot, aren't I?" she shot back. "I thought there was something I could do for him, but here I am, worrying myself sick."

"What...number am I?" Cloud moaned out pathetically. "A billion mirror fragments...small...light...taken...angel's singing voice...Xeno...gears."

"I don't understand a thing you're saying, Cloud." She pressed her eyes shut, biting back a sob as she was overcome with doubt. "What should I do? What if you never recover for the rest of your life?"

That was when the ground started shaking.

Surprised by the sudden motion, Tifa fell onto her backside, while Cid grabbed onto one of the beds. This was way stronger than the one this morning.

A sound from Cloud made her look towards him. "They're...coming!"

_Cloud!?_

"What did ya just say?" Cid asked him, but only got a moan in return.

"This isn't good. It's a big one," the doctor said.

Then a familiar roar, one that she had heard once before at the Northern Crater, just before she had fallen unconscious, echoed through the air.

"Shit!" Cid cursed and ran outside with Vincent and Red hot on his heels. Grabbing onto Cloud's wheelchair, she managed to get back onto her feet and, using the walls for support, made her way to the front door.

"Dammit, this isn't good!" Cid exclaimed as he looked around. "The Lifestream's actin' up. Did the fucking Weapon cause this!?"

"Cid!" Tifa called out.

"Get back inside with Cloud!"

"But—!"

"No buts! Get back inside, we're gonna take care of this ugly motherfucker, don't worry," he told her. She wanted to protest again, but he was right. Cloud needed her.

"Be careful," she said and returned back inside, immediately seeking out Cloud and hugging him, to shield him in case the roof was coming down on them.

Outside she could hear the battle rage, as their friends, as well as the Weapon, fought with everything they had.

"Don't worry, we're gonna be alright," Tifa told Cloud, who muttered something that she couldn't make out under all that noise.

It felt like an eternity, but it was over surprisingly quickly, and she heard the Weapon let out a cry as it took off again, apparently having been chased off. And soon after, the earthquake stopped.

"They did it..." Tifa released a sigh of relief and gave Cloud a smile.

But soon after the earth started shaking again, the tremors growing stronger and stronger by the second. "This is bad!"

Making sure that Cloud wouldn't suddenly roll off, she ran to the door, using the doorway to steady herself.

"Doctor!" she called out to the man holding onto his table as he tried to remain calm while his equipment and various bottles in the medicine cabinet behind him tumbled to the floor. The nurse had already stopped all pretenses and hid under another table. "I think it's time we get out of here. It's not safe here anymore!"

The man nodded. "Yes, it's probably best if we seek shelter outside of town."

Tifa ran back towards Cloud as the doctor helped the nurse to her feet.

"Don't worry, Cloud," she said as she leaned down to look him in the eye. "I'll get you someplace safe!"

"Oh no!" the doctor exclaimed as the tremors reached their peak. "The structure can't take anymore, hurry!"

Tifa moved behind the wheelchair as fast as possible and grabbed the handles. "Let's go, Cloud!"

She pushed with all her might.

Outside, the doctor and nurse were running down the hill. She had barely managed to dash down the pathway, when behind her the entire ground fell away like a sand trap.

_Oh no…! _All around them cracks started to form in the ground, the emerald glow of the Lifestream seeping through them, as she pushed Cloud towards the town's exit as fast as she could. But her tiredness coupled with Cloud's weight slowed her down. They had almost made it when the ground underneath her feet gave way.

Panic gripped her heart, as they were surrounded by a sea of green, and she desperately tried to hold onto something, anything, but the little 'island' they were trapped on collapsed in on itself, and Tifa soon found herself descending into the Lifestream. As she sunk into the glowing, emerald liquid, her hand reached out towards Cloud's motionless body, trying to grab him, but he slipped from her grasp, and soon after the entire world went black as her consciousness faded.

_Cloud... _she called out in her mind one last time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having a little fun with Cloud's random mumblings. Figured it would be a fun idea to throw some other cameos in aside from Xenogears.
> 
> Next chapter...well we know what's gonna be next, don't we?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we know what's coming next. Honestly I kinda don't like this chapter, mostly because the Lifestream scene is kind of a sacred cow to me, but I also felt just jumping to right afterwards would flow weirdly.
> 
> I just hope I managed to write it decently enough.

**Chapter 3**

She woke up in absolute darkness, lying on her back.

_Wha—Where am I?_ Tifa rose to her feet and looked around. The darkness stretched out endlessly in all directions. She was alone.

"Cloud!" she called out. "Where are you!?"

There wasn't even an echo. Suddenly, she heard sounds from far away, coming closer and closer. A voice appeared next to her ear, whispering something she couldn't understand.

"Who's there!?" She whirled around, only to see more darkness. But the voice remained and was soon joined by another, and another, and another. A multitude of voices, familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.

Accusing her.

"What!? No, it wasn't me!" she shouted at no one and everyone. "I didn't do it. I swear!"

The voices grew louder, angrier, as they attacked her. The noise that was so far away before was closer now, ringing in her ears, creating a cacophony of madness inside her brain as she was judged.

Grabbing her head, Tifa ran. "Stay away!"

But they wouldn't stay away, and instead grew even louder, screaming at her in anguish and anger as they attacked her with visions of a past that wasn't hers, yet was.

_A woman in a snowy town, living a peaceful life, until her life was snuffed out by something, turning her inside out as it transformed her one cell at time, every second an eternity of agony._

"No!"

_Her mother, her dear kind mother, was dying in front of her, having been turned to evil by that vile man. Tears were running down her face as she apologized to her with her last words._

"Somebody...help!" she begged.

_She was the chosen one. The one to end the war. _ _I_ _t would only require her sacrifice. But the love of her life couldn't _ _accept that_ _ and instead tried to stop her. Now she was lying in a puddle of her own blood, _ _a gunshot in her chest, while_ _ looking at the man she loved as she died._

"Please!"

She collapsed to the ground as her senses were being overloaded, like a thousand nails scraping across her brain.

"Cloud!" she screamed out as everything in front of her exploded into white.

When she opened her eyes again she found herself lying on some kind of platform, surrounded by a sea of green. Slowly, she pushed herself up with her arms and rose to her feet.

"Where...am I?" she wondered out loud, and looked around. It wasn't just simply a platform. It was some sort of nexus, with three paths leading into different directions. Out of the corner of her eyes she spotted something floating in the air above her. Turning her gaze towards its direction, Tifa's breath hitched and her eyes widened when she saw Cloud, holding his head as he was writhing in pain while he was suspended in midair.

"What is this place?" turning around she saw another Cloud sitting at the end of one of the pathways in front of something that looked like the gates of Nibelheim.

"Is this the inside of your dreams...? Or is it...your subconscious?" she asked in the hope that Cloud could hear her. "You're searching, aren't you? Searching for yourself."

A look of determination crossed her face. "Let me help you. Together we'll find the real you," she said, and looked around. "But where to start?"

Her eyes turned to the Cloud sitting in front of the town gate and walked over to him. As she approached him he started to speak, his voice sounding like a strange echo in this place.

"The gates of Nibelheim..." he muttered. "Five years ago, Sephiroth passed through these gates. And that's how it all started…"

"Yes, it's probably best to start from here." Tifa nodded as this Cloud rose to his feet. "I know this isn't easy for you, but I'll be with you this entire time."

Together they walked towards the gate until they arrived at the Nibelheim inside Cloud's mind. The first thing she did was to look around, to check for any sort of anomaly that differed from her own memory. It was all identical to how she remembered their hometown.

"There's the well, the inn." She walked over to the old beaten truck and rapped her knuckles against it. "Even the old truck that's been here since we were little kids!"

"It's the Nibelheim you remember, right?" She turned towards Cloud, standing in the corner and watching her silently, his head hanging low. "And it's exactly how I remember it as well. This is _our_ Nibelheim."

"Five years ago, two men from SOLDIER came," she said while facing the town gate. "Sephiroth and a young and cheerful man."

_Zack_ _Fair._

"Can you tell me again what happened?" she asked, and there was a white flash as Sephiroth appeared near them.

She watched as Sephiroth talked with someone outside the memory.

"That was the day I saw the real Sephiroth for the first time. The legendary war hero," she said, her eyes never leaving the man that destroyed their home as he laughed about something. "But honestly, I thought he was a very cold person, nothing at all like the stories said. There was this foreboding I felt about him."

If only she would have known what it meant at the time.

Another Cloud, flanked by two Shinra troopers arrived on the scene, just like he had told them back in Kalm. But this was wrong; this wasn't how it truly had been.

"No, Cloud," she said with a sigh, and she lowered her gaze to the ground. Her hand went to the locket resting underneath her top. "I've been hiding it this whole time, because I've been afraid of what might happen. But not anymore."

Sephiroth and the troopers vanished, leaving only Cloud and her. It had been a burden, to keep it to herself. But what was she supposed to do? In the end it was exactly that revelation, she had tried to prevent, that shattered him to pieces. But she had to finally say it. For his sake.

"You weren't here five years ago," Tifa told him, turning to look him in the eye. He looked at her, like she had just ripped his heart out. She turned around and a vision of her fifteen year old self appeared, sitting on the ground just past the gate. She still vividly remembered how she had hoped Cloud would return; had even dressed rather provocatively to maybe catch his attention upon arrival. "I waited for you, but you…never came."

Her past self rose to her feet as she spotted the people that arrived at the town's gate.

"The two people sent to investigate were Sephiroth and...someone else."

A look of sadness crossed her younger self's face and she bit her lip, before running off to her house. All of a sudden, Sephiroth appeared directly before Tifa, and she nearly jumped back at the cold and calculating look in his eyes as he looked past her.

"_Alright, let's go,"_ Sephiroth said. Behind her, steps approached them, and Tifa turned around to catch just the tiniest glimpse of black hair, before everything became white and she found herself back in the nexus of Cloud's mind.

"You mean that the member of SOLDIER who came with Sephiroth wasn't...me?" the Cloud copy asked.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I can't tell you that. It's an answer you have to find yourself. Just...take your time. Slow and steady wins the race, OK?"

He gave her the barest of nods in return and sat back on the ground, hugging his knees to himself while looking even more vulnerable than before. Taking a deep breath, she returned to the main platform. Only two other paths. She decided on the one to her right, and soon found another version of Cloud waiting for her sitting near what appeared to be the well.

_Our promise, that's right!_

"That starry night at the well...our promise...what if those memories were all lies?" he asked her, his eyes never looking at her. Tifa knelt down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't rush yourself. Keep checking those little emotions and little by little it'll come back to you." She looked at the well. "Try to remember the stars that night."

Everything around them went dark, and she found herself standing on the well, as all around her the same scene from her own memories appeared.

"Try to remember," she encouraged him, and soon her 13 year old self appeared next to her, while next to him, his younger self appeared. She took in the appearance of her younger self. Blue dress, and pretty little sandals to match. "Those are the clothes I wore," she confirmed and sat down next to her child self. She looked over to the younger Cloud.

"And that's definitely you. You were so small back then, barely taller than me." She smiled and averted her eyes. "...and cute."

She had only truly realized it after he had left, but she already liked him back then. Ever since his 14th birthday, where she had gone out of her way to give him a present, and he in turn protected her from that Mako mutated animal, she had been drawn to him. Part of the reason she was late that night, aside from having to wait until her father went into his room, was because she unconsciously had prettied herself up a little and picked a dress that was a bit inappropriate for the season, despite it having been a rather mild December at the time.

It made her wonder what she would have done if she had realized her feelings earlier. Perhaps kiss him goodbye?

She certainly had been much bolder back then.

"Sephiroth claims that you made up your memories by listening to my stories. But did you make up this sky? No. You remembered it." She looked at the stars, a smile on her face as around them their younger versions relived the memories of that night. "The stars were gorgeous. It was just you and me, talking up here...That's why I continued to believe you were the real Cloud, and still do..."

Tifa lowered her gaze and turned to look at Cloud, his head hanging low.

"But you don't believe in yourself...these memories aren't enough..."

For but a moment everything turned white again, and she found herself back in the center of the nexus. She paced up and down, tapping a finger against her chin.

"What about your other memories?" She stopped, frowning. "No. A memory is something that has to be consciously recalled, that's why it can be mistaken."

The entire time, before Cloud told his version of the events, Tifa had doubted her own memories because of external factors. What if he had been there and she just forgot because of her trauma? Even the photo in her locket couldn't fully disprove him, since he could have just arrived when things turned bad, as reinforcement when Sephiroth locked himself away for an entire week; that was more than enough time for him to arrive.

Only after she had heard his story did she know that their memories were entirely different.

"But it's different from a memory locked deep inside one's heart." She snapped her fingers. "That's it! What about a memory that has to do with me? In the past I'd say something, but you couldn't remember it. But then you would say something that I remember as well. That's how we'll know it's _our_ memory."

Tifa turned towards the Cloud that was hanging in the sky.

"So, please...talk to me about a memory that's important to you. How about why you wanted to join SOLDIER? I always thought that it was kind of a sudden decision."

Then she heard Cloud speak.

"I wanted to be noticed," he said, his voice echoing all around her, like there were multiple Clouds speaking all at once. "I thought if I got stronger, I could get someone to notice me..."

_Someone to notice you?_ She wondered. "Who?"

"Who? You know who. _You_, that's who."

Her eyes widened in surprise at this revelation. "Me? Why?"

Suddenly another voice spoke up from behind her, making her whirl around to see a much younger Cloud standing there, looking like he had when she was 8.

"Tifa...did you forget about those days?"

"I...I'm sorry, what are you talking about?" she asked in confusion.

He gave her a sad little smile. "It's alright. You were having a hard time back then. It's only natural that you forgot me."

"Back then?" she asked and walked over to him.

He took a deep breath. "It's a very important memory to me. Do you want to see it?"

She didn't hesitate. "Yes."

"Let's go then."

They both wandered down the third path, where they found another Cloud blocking the way.

"A sealed up secret. Tender memories no one can ever know..." he said in a whisper, before stepping aside to let them both through.

They took a set of stairs that led them to a window hanging in the air.

"Do you know where this leads?" the young Cloud asked.

"...my room."

"Mhm. It was my first time inside."

"Was it?" she tilted her head. She honestly couldn't remember. It was such a long time ago and so much had happened.

"I only used to look up at it from the outside," he told her, and all of a sudden they were inside. She saw herself, sitting in the corner of her room, surrounded by her friends.

"_Hey look, Cloud's coming! Think he wants to come in?"_

Her younger self simply shook her head.

"This was the first time you came into my room?" she asked, then nodded. "Yeah. We lived next to each other since we were little, but we didn't know each other that well, and now that you mention it, I really can't recall you ever being in my room."

"You always used to hang out with these three," Cloud said while pointing at the three boys. Jeremy, Timothy and Bryan. She felt a twinge of pain in her heart as she looked at Jeremy, silently mourning his fate at Shinra's hands, whatever it was.

"That's right," she said.

"I used to think you were all stupid."

"What!?" She turned to look at him, a little scowl forming on her face at his insult.

"You were all so childish, laughing at every little thing," he explained.

"We _were_ children."

That sad little smile returned and he nodded. "I know. I was the one that was stupid. I wanted to play with everyone, but the others wouldn't let me join. Then I began to think I was special, that I was different from all those immature kids...so maybe..."

"Cloud..."

Around her she heard Cloud's much older voice speak up.

"_Maybe, they would invite me in due to how special I was. That's why I hung around."_

Little Cloud released a shaky breath. "I was prejudiced...and weak."

"_On the night I called you out to the well, I thought to myself that you wouldn't come...that you hated me."_

"I never hated you. If I did, I wouldn't have gone to look for you that one summer day," she said and spotted the tiniest of smiles on his lips as he seemed to recall that day. "I was a bit surprised when you called me out to the well, though, and it's true we never were _that_ close, but...after you left town, there didn't pass a single day where I didn't think about you. I would wonder if you had made it into SOLDIER. If you were doing alright. I even started to read the newspaper to see if there might be an article about you."

She giggled at the memory of the first time she had asked her father if she could read it once he was done. He had looked at her like she'd grown an additional head.

"Thanks, Tifa," he said. "Tell him what you told me. He'll be so happy."

She chuckled and her heart skipped a beat at the prospect. This was a revelation to say the least; that their feelings might not be so different after all. "I will."

Looking around the room once more, she walked over to her younger self and knelt down next to to her. "What happened on this day?"

"This was the day your mother..."

Her face fell as she finally remembered.

"The day Mom died..."

"_I want...to see...Mom..."_ her younger self muttered, then jumped to her feet and ran past her and little Cloud. The vision of her room fell away and was replaced with one of Mt. Nibel, where her younger self was standing with the others, wondering what might be on the other side.

"_Many people have died up here..." _Jeremy said, and she could hear the fear, that he was trying to hide, in his voice. The others tried to warn her as well, but she didn't listen. She was too absorbed in her grief and desire to see her mother again to listen to anyone.

Had she really been like this? She couldn't remember the day really well. It had always been such a blur of events to her, most likely a side effect of the week long coma. All she knew was that she would fall and hurt herself.

She watched as Jeremy was the first to turn and run back, but the other two would eventually follow, leaving as soon as she was starting to cross the bridge. Only Cloud, who had come after them, was brave enough to keep going after her.

Then it happened; she missed a step and was starting to fall. Cloud ran towards her and grabbed her hand, but it was too late. Their eyes had locked for but a moment, before they both tumbled down the mountain.

"Back then I only scarred my knees," Cloud said as they both stood over the fallen bodies of their younger selves. Soon her father and one of his friends arrived on the scene; one of her friends must have told him she had gone up the mountain. She frowned as she heard her father's words towards Cloud, how he blamed him for what had happened.

And now she understood why her father had always disliked Cloud. But it was all so wrong. _It was me you should have blamed. It was my fault._

"We all thought you wouldn't make it," Cloud said as her father and his friend carried her off, leaving Cloud's younger self lying where he was, without an ounce of worry that he might be hurt as well. It was a shock to see her usually kind father like this. "'If only I could've saved her' was all I could think of during that time. I was angry at myself, for being so weak. I thought you blamed me and I went out of control, got into fights with the other kids. That was when I heard about Sephiroth for the first time and I thought if I was as strong as him, then..."

Everything around them disappeared as they returned to the nexus of Cloud's mind.

"...If I was as strong as him, then you would have to notice me..."

"I'm so sorry, Cloud," Tifa said. "If only I had remembered what happened more clearly, maybe I could've done something sooner."

"Please, don't blame yourself," Cloud said softly. Tifa smiled in return.

"But, now I remember clearly. These are our memories." She took a step closer to him and took hold of his hands. "You're Cloud, the boy from my childhood! You weren't created in some lab five years ago."

She gazed into his eyes, and where there had been emptiness before, she could now see the faint glow of hope. "Just a little more. You've almost found the real you!"

Letting go of his hands again, she turned towards the direction of where the gates of Nibelheim were located. "Let's go back there, one more time."

Together they ran past the gates and through the town, with Cloud taking the lead.

"Where are we going?"

"To the Mako reactor, five years ago," he said.

They arrived at the scene just in time to see herself get cut down. The scar on her chest tingled at the sight of her broken body landing on the foot of the stairs and her heart started to race as the memory of that day came back to her. She had been so sure that she would die right there, separated from the boy that she had wanted so desperately to see again.

Like in her own memory, Zack entered the room and followed Sephiroth into the room at the top of the stairs.

"Za...ck...Zack!" Cloud exclaimed at the sight of the SOLDIER.

"That's right. It was Zack, who came to Nibelheim with Sephiroth. But...where were you?"

Then the faint sound of footsteps clacking on the metal floor echoed through the reactor as they came closer.

"Did you see it all?" Tifa asked, as Zack was flung across the room, landing harshly on one of the pods, his sword falling to the ground with a loud sound.

"I saw everything..." A shadowy figure appeared at the foot of the stairs. It grabbed the fallen sword and ran past her, up the stairs and into the room where Sephiroth was standing in front of Jenova. It ran towards him as fast as it could, holding the point of the Buster Sword aimed at the man's torso. The former war hero turned around, but it was too late, and the giant sword buried itself deep into his flesh.

"_Who are you!?"_ Sephiroth demanded as he gasped in pain. A familiar voice answered him.

"_Mom...Tifa...my town...give it back!" _The figure, a Shinra trooper, pulled the sword back harshly, making Sephiroth fall to his knees. He took a few steps backwards, before turning around and walking to the door. "_I admired you!"_

"Cloud?" she asked as the trooper breathed deeply, dropping the Buster Sword to the ground, before his hands went to his helmet to take it off, revealing that it was indeed Cloud.

"You were there..." She breathed out. The scenery changed to the day she had guided the group through the mountain, at the Mako fountain, where he stood in the back, his eyes always on her to keep watch. It changed again, to the front of the reactor where he was blocking her way to keep her from seeing the interior. "So it was you?"

She had been so annoyed at the time, but shortly after, a monster had attacked them and it was him that had taken a blow in an effort to protect her. The annoyance had quickly been replaced with worry for that Shinra trooper, and she had taken the liberty to help him get back to town. That it truly was Cloud…

He had protected her again, just like on his birthday.

"_Hey Cloud, if you're feeling sick, why don't you take off your helmet?" _Zack asked, his usual cheer in his voice, and she saw the inside of the transport Shinra had used to get to their town. Cloud was sitting on a crate, across from Sephiroth, his helmet in hand and looking positively sick. It reminded her of how Yuffie looked on the Highwind all the time.

"Yeah, this is me. I never made it into SOLDIER," Cloud told her. "I left my hometown telling everyone I was going to make it big, but I was so embarrassed, I didn't want to see anybody."

The scene changed to the gates of town, where she was waiting. As Cloud and Zack approached, he seemed to have noticed that he was missing his helmet, and rushed back to put it on. Just in time too, as soon after she had turned to look towards their direction. Unbelievable. If she had just moved her head a little earlier she could have seen that Cloud really had returned.

The next one was Cloud, lying in front of his burning house, struggling to get back up as he cried out for his mother. Her heart broke for him, seeing him lying there. She had always likes Claudia and she hadn't deserved her fate. None of them did.

The scene switched back to the reactor, where Cloud was hurrying down the stairs and carefully picked her up, placing her against one of the pods after he had carried her to the side. One of his hands reached out to gently stroke her cheek.

"You kept your promise..." she said in amazement and unconsciously brushed her fingers against the cheek that Cloud had touched. "You really did come when I was in trouble."

"Sorry I couldn't get there sooner."

She shook her head with a smile. "It's alright."

On top of the stairs, Sephiroth stumbled out of the door, holding Jenova's severed head in his grasp and, despite his grievous wounds, managed to make his way down the stairs and out of the room, muttering something under his breath.

"_Cloud...Kill him," _Zack said before falling unconscious himself. Cloud ran after Sephiroth, intent on finishing the job, but this time the SOLDIER wasn't caught by surprise and ran him through with Masamune.

"_Don't...push it..." _Sephiroth grit out before lifting him off the ground, pure hatred reflected in his eyes as he dangled him in the air like a fish on a stick. But despite his wounds, Cloud somehow managed to turn the tables, grabbing the blade around it's edge and forcing Sephiroth to drop him to the ground.

"_It can't be!"_ he exclaimed, as Cloud lifted him up with a shout and threw him down the reactor shaft, where his body vanished in the emerald green Mako below. Cloud gasped in pain, his hands going to his wound, before he collapsed on the ground, falling unconscious.

With a flash of white light, Tifa found herself back in the center of the nexus, together with little Cloud.

"I guess this is goodbye, Tifa," he said while around them the Clouds that had guarded the three pathways appeared. She knelt down next to the little boy and gathered him in a tight hug, making him gasp out in surprise.

"I will never forget you, I promise," she said with a smile and a feeling of nostalgia overcame her when she saw his lower lip quiver the same way it had done on his 14th birthday.

"Thank you, and remember to tell him." He stepped out of her embrace and walked a few steps away from her. The other Clouds nodded and stepped forward, slowly merging with the boy. The Cloud that had been suspended in the air stopped writhing in pain, and floated down to become one with him as well.

Once it was done, the fully restored Cloud collapsed to the ground, and she was by his side in an instant, holding him as he regained consciousness. "Cloud, it's really you, isn't it?" she asked once he had opened his eyes.

"Yeah," he said with a tired smile. "We finally...meet again."

Tife helped him back on his feet, relief washing over her, but there was also a bit of anger. Anger over how worried he had made her and everyone else. "You had us all worried, you jerk!"

She regretted her words immediately, as he gripped his head and hissed in pain.

"Are you alright!?" she asked, holding onto his shoulders to keep him steady.

"Their voices...so many..." They were still in the Lifestream. She, too, could feel a scratching in the back of her mind, as the accusing voices were starting to dig their way back inside. They couldn't stay here any longer.

"Let's go back, Cloud."

"Yeah," he said with a nod. "Let's go home."

Everything around them vanished, and from one moment to the next, Tifa found herself back in the emerald green flow of the Lifestream, with Cloud by her side as they ascended, heading back towards the surface. Their eyes met for a fleeting moment and she reached out to take his hand into her own. Her lips curled into a smile as she felt him give her hand a squeeze.

Just before her eyes closed, she saw a vision of the friends she had lost, smiling at her as if to say it wasn't her time yet.

Then everything became dark once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
And that's it for this week. Stay tuned for the final chapter next week! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When she awoke again, Barret and Vincent were standing over her, their faces illuminated by the bright green glow of the Lifestream that had swallowed the town of Mideel.

"Tifa, you alright!?" Barret asked her as she slowly sat up, propping herself on the wooden debris of what used to be a house.

"Barret...I—" She looked around. "Cloud, where is he?"

"Don't worry. He's over there," Barret said, resting his large hand on her shoulder while the ex-Turk calmly checked her for any injuries. "Tough sonuvabitch."

"Barret. While I was in the Lifestream, I saw the real Cloud," she said, and she felt her mind fogging up again. She was so tired. "Cloud, he found himself again."

"I know. I shouldn't have doubted him," Barret admitted after a moment. He then chuckled. "I guess I just can't win against ya."

Tifa chuckled as well and laid back down. "People have so many things hidden inside themselves; things they can never forget. Strange, isn't it?"

Closing her eyes, she let herself drift back into unconsciousness, a calm smile on her face.

Everything was alright now.

* * *

The entire group was standing in the briefing room, listening to Cloud's explanation about what exactly it was that Shinra, and specifically Hojo had done to him. Her heart sank a little at the thought that while she was off in Midgar, getting better and trying to move on with her life, Cloud was turned into something he didn't want.

But they found each other again.

"I'm Cloud, the master of my own illusionary world. But I can't remain trapped inside an illusion anymore," he said with resolution in his eyes. "From now on I'm going to live my life without pretending."

Tifa couldn't help a little grin and punched his arm playfully. "You're a handful, you know that?"

He chuckled. "Believe me, I do."

Barret scoffed with a huge grin splitting his face. "Ain't no difference from before then."

"What are ya going to do now?" Cait Sith asked then.

Cloud sighed. "I'm the reason Meteor was summoned, so I have to do everything in my power to stop it."

"So you're gonna keep fightin' for the planet!"

"It's like you always said, Barret," Cloud said with a twinkle in his eyes, and Tifa already knew what he was going to say next.

"There ain't no gettin' off this train," they said simultaneously, causing everyone to laugh.

They left the briefing room one by one, but instead of heading towards the bridge like the rest, she turned to head in the opposite direction. She stretched herself a little as she walked up the stairs leading to the Highwind's deck and for the first time in weeks felt completely rested. After Cloud and her had been found, their friends had taken them back to Cosmo Canyon, to rest for a day.

Barret himself had stayed with her to make sure she was getting the rest she needed, if she wanted to or not. She was grateful for him, despite their disagreement these last couple of days, but family would disagree on many things, yet still hold together.

Family.

In a way they had become family over the years. Barret was a bit like the overprotective brother or father looking after her. Where Dr. Hiragi had been like a father that respected her own boundaries and gave her freedom to experience things for herself, Barret was like the rough but well-meaning father trying to keep his family safe.

She giggled. Did that mean she had two daddies?

_Better not tell Barret that joke_, she thought as she arrived at the deck. She walked over to the railing, and watched the scenery as it passed by. One of her hands reached behind her back and pulled her long hair over her shoulder, where she proceeded to remove the band that tied the end of it together in something that looked like a little dolphin tail. Once it was undone, she let her hair flow freely in the breeze.

Tifa closed her eyes with a smile. A weight had lifted from her shoulders and heart, and for the first time in a long while, she finally felt at peace again. She knew it was only a momentary peace, as there was still a lot to do, but for now she wanted to enjoy it.

The clacking of boots behind her made her turn around to see Cloud walking out on the deck as well. She gave him a little wave as he headed towards her. "Taking a tour?"

He shook his head and leaned against the railing, looking slightly pale.

"Needed some fresh air. I think the airship's not agreeing with me yet," he answered before taking a few deep breaths. She watched as some of the color returned to his face. "Who would've thought regaining myself meant I'd have to deal with this again?"

"Well, look at it this way, now Yuffie and you have something to bond over," she joked.

"Right. Maybe we can make a game out of who can hurl the furthest."

They both laughed. Once Cloud felt better he stood up straight again and looked at her.

"Huh. Your hair's out," he said with a bit of a surprise. "I think I never seen you like that before."

"Does it look bad?" she asked while tilting her head to the side.

"No, no. It looks good. Just different. Good different." He smiled slightly and Tifa felt a tingling in her belly, like a thousand butterflies.

"_You, that's who."_ She recalled the words that she had heard from deep inside his heart. But also the promise she had made there.

Taking a step closer she placed a hand on top of his. "Cloud?"

"Hm?"

"When you were gone, I thought a lot about you. Even started to read the newspaper in hopes to find something about you," she confessed. She could have sworn she saw his face flushed a little, before he turned his head.

"Sorry, I never was good enough for SOLDIER. I was just cut out to be a mere grunt," he told her.

"Don't be. You kept your promise. You've kept it all the time even on our travels," she said. Taking a deep breath, she gathered up the courage for her next words. "SOLDIER was never important to me. You could've walked up to me in your trooper uniform, taken off your helmet and I'd have been just as happy to see you."

Her heart was beating like a drum after she had said those words, and she could tell that she was blushing. It was now her turn to look away.

They remained silent for a while, which gave her time to calm herself again. There was one other thing, that had been bothering her for the longest time, that she needed to ask.

"Cloud...what happened to Zack?"

He didn't answer her immediately, and she was about to say that it wasn't important, when he finally spoke.

"He's dead," he said, looking at the far horizon. "After what happened, Zack and I were kept in the basement of the Shinra mansion for years. But unlike me, he was strong enough to withstand the procedures and eventually sprung us out. He took care of me as we made our way back to Midgar. But we were attacked in the wasteland and he sacrificed his life to save mine. With his dying breath he entrusted his sword to me, telling me that I was his living legacy. Guess I took it a little too much to heart."

"Cloud..."

He shook his head and gave her a little smile. "It's alright. He wanted us to become mercenaries once we got to the slums. It's funny, because he planned for us to crash with his girlfriend and her mother for a while before getting started. Can you imagine that?"

"...You mean Aerith, don't you?"

"It's ironic, isn't it? Now that I remember everything the dots aren't that hard to connect."

Tifa had suspected it, after what she had once told her at Gold Saucer and her later reaction while meeting Zack's parents as they traveled through Gongaga, telling them that he had been missing for years. She had wanted to ask her, but never found the time to do so; or maybe she had just been afraid.

And then Aerith died.

It was amazing in a way, how strangely connected the four of them were. But it seemed that was just something that had surrounded her friend.

"Back in Icicle Inn I wasn't entirely honest with you. That night, I found Vincent investigating around town, about something that had happened there over 20 years ago..."

She told him everything they saw, about Aerith's parentage and what happened when Hojo arrived.

"I'm sorry to have kept it from you, but at the time I was afraid that it would drive you over the edge," she said.

"It's alright," he said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as he turned to fully face her. "You made the right call. I was barely managing to keep it together as it was. So don't apologize."

"Hey, Cloud?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think that wherever they are, they found each other again?" she asked.

"I think so..." He nodded.

"Reunited after years of separation...kinda like us, huh?" After she said those words her carmine eyes locked with his Mako tinted ones, staring deeply into the warmth reflected in them, and she felt her heartbeat quicken once again as their faces slowly inched towards one another. Were they going to…?

Her eyes fluttered closed, as they moved closer and closer until—

"Yo, Spike!" Barret's voice called out from inside. "You out there!?"

—they were interrupted.

They jumped apart like someone had thrown a grenade between them and Tifa turned to look out towards the sea that was now stretching across the horizon to hide her blush. When had they made it out here?

"Yeah, I'm here," Cloud replied with mild irritation, scratching the back of his head. "What is it?"

"Cid says we'll arrive at Junon soon," Barret said as he stepped out onto the deck.

"I'm coming," Cloud said with a nod and turned to look at Tifa. "We, uh, we'll talk later."

"Ok," she said, trying to sound as casual as possible. "I'll stay out here for a bit longer."

Cloud looked at her for a moment, before making his way towards Barret to join the rest of their little band inside. Once she was alone again, Tifa let her shoulders sag and she released a heavy sigh.

This was gonna get worse, before it got better too, wasn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this we're done with Fractured Mind. Stay tuned for next week's first chapter of Starlight!
> 
> Read & Review. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Until next week...
> 
> Read & Review.


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